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Customer Billing

Hans Maurer - Tue Nov 18 09:49:09 2003

If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's customer service, then you will really appreciate this.

My Aunt died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and
March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then
added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had
been $0.00...and now it was somewhere around $60.00.)

I placed the following phone call to Citibank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that my aunt died in January."

CitiBank: "Well, sir, the account was never closed, so the late fees and
charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."

CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report
her to the credit bureau... maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

CitiBank: "... Excuse me ...?"

Me: "Did you get what I was just telling you.... the part about her
being dead?"

CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: "I'm calling to tell you that my aunt died in January."

CitiBank:  "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

CitiBank: "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info is given.)

CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." (Fax number is given.)

(After they get the fax.)

CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death..."

Me: "Oh..."

CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."

Me: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep
billing her... I suppose... I don't really think she will care...."

CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "Would you like her new billing address?"

CitiBank: "Yes, that might help."

Me: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, 2450 Hwy 129, Plot #189.."

CitiBank:  "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "Well, what do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"

CitiBank:  (Click!)

Hans Maurer                                               hans@red.roses.de

   "Viele Leute sagen, es wäre dumm, Erwartungen in irgendwas zu setzen.
           Aber die haben doch nur Angst, enttäuscht zu werden."