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Life's equation

Markus Wennrich - Tue Nov 27 10:09:02 2001


LIFE'S EQUATIONS 


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS 

Smart man + smart woman = romance 

Smart man + dumb woman = affair 

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy 


OFFICE ARITHMETIC 

Smart boss + smart employee = profit 

Smart boss + dumb employee = production 

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion 

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime 


SHOPPING MATH 

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. 

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. 


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. 

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 


HAPPINESS 

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. 

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all. 


LONGEVITY 

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die. 


MEMORY 

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing. 


APPEARANCE 

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. 

Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE 

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. 

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE 

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument. 


COMPREHENSION 

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage. 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED: 

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals. 

-- 
A successful [software] tool is one that was used to do something
undreamed of by its author. -- S. C. Johnson


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