[Thread Prev][Thread Next]   >Date Index >Thread Index

The Witch

Axel Hoffmann - Wed Oct 10 12:59:02 2001

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved
by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as
he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death. 
The question was: What do women really want? 
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better
than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by
year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the
princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester.
In all, he spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as
only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the
witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she
charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative
but to talk to the witch. 
She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price
first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was
horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth,
smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises...etc. He had never
run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to
marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a
sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round
Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered
Arthur's question: 

What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring
monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. 

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief
and anguish. 
Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her
worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very
The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific
night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful
woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what
had happened. 
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd
been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self,
and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. 
Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the
What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: During
the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in
the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having
by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many
intimate moments? 
What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until
you've made your own choice. 

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. 
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the
time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her
own life. 

What is the moral of this story? 
The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly,
underneath it all, she's still a witch---and don't you forget it. 

Axel Hoffmann - IRC: axel_f - WWW: http://www.schwabing.org/~axel/
Tel.: 089 / 361 80 12 - Fax: 089 / 361 80 23
Email: axel@schwabing.org