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Special High Intensity Training

Axel Hoffmann - Mon Jul 23 09:27:19 2001

TO: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

In order to ensure the highest levels of quality of work from our
employees, it will be our policy to keep employees well trained
through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T).

We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company.

If you feel that you do not get your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will immediately be placed at the top
of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in the
Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take the D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will
have to go on the Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted,
they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T.
already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in the job of
training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding
Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).  Those who are full of
B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply
for a promotion to Director of Intensity Programs (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head
Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Signed,
Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training
 (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)



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Axel Hoffmann - IRC: axel_f - WWW: http://www.schwabing.org/~axel/
Tel.: 089 / 361 80 12 - Fax: 089 / 361 80 23
Email: axel@schwabing.org
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