The Difference between Men & Women

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob
and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat 
Boy, Skunk, Peanut and Mong.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in
£20.00 even though it's only for £32.50 in total. None of them will have
anything smaller,  and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants. A woman will pay £1 for a £2
item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothpaste, a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The 
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man 
would not be able to identify most of these items.

HAIR
Even if she's wearing a bad wetsuit, a woman likes her hair to look nice 
in a photograph.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after 
that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking,
men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never
worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the 
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will 
dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow 
deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret 
fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people 
living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.