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Hotel Talk

Hans Maurer - Wed Jan 19 11:43:23 2000

The Manager
Y.M.C.A. Hotel

Roma, 28 Dec. 1996
Signore Direttore,

Now I am tella you a story wot I was treted at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay a jounge christian man
at your hotella.
When I comma in my raom I see there is no shit on my bed. So I call down to
receptione and tella:
"I wanta shit". They tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "No, no, I wanta shit
in my bed". They say: "You d better not shit in your bed, you
What is sonna-wa-bitch?
I go down for brekfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two
pissis of toast. I gettaonly one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point
at toast: "I wanta piss".
She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "No, no, I wanta piss on my plate".
She then say to me: " piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch".
That is the second person who do not even know me calla me "sonna-wa-bitch"
and why is your staff replying "go to toilet", is that a modern tella? I do
not understand, tella me.
Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is Iaid out, but
not fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta fock". And she tella me: "Sure,
Everyone want a fock". I tella her: "No, no, you don t understanda me. I
wanta fock on the table." She tella me: "So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock
on the table? Get your ass out of here."
How comma this christian hotell tella the guest in such bad manner?
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotel no
more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier said to me: "Thank you, and
piss on You". I say: "Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch. I now go back to
Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.


Dicci Elgre