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Why Internet is like a penisMarkus Wennrich
- Sat Aug 28 17:50:50 1999
Why the Internet Is Like a Penis
It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to
get any real work done.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think
that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it
for fun most of the time.
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just
do the same damn dumb things it did before.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this
interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's
hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread
It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too
much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it
will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do
that?" Some folks have it, some don't.
Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. The think
that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives
them power. They are wrong.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's
not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many
of those who don't have it would like to try it.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would
just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very
angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. - Douglas Adam