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Wolfgang Schemmel - Tue Aug 24 14:41:23 1999

[ Uebersetzungshilfe http://dict.leo.org/ ]

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a
Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life -
until the boat sinks. He finds himself swept up on the shore of
an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only
bananas and coconuts. 

After about four months, he's lying on the beach when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he
asks her, 
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?" 
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. 
"I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash
up with you." 

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw
material found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum
tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the
sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." 

"But...but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?" 

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman, quite correctly
proud of herself. "On the south side of the island, there's a
very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found if I fired
it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable,
ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make
the hardware." 

Ed's stunned and speechless. 
"Let's row over to my place," she says. 
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small
wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. 

Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow,
painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat
with an expertly woven hemp rope, he can only stare ahead,

As they walk into the house, she hides her pride and says
casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please;
would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more
coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice. I have a still. How about a Pina

Trying to hide his continuing amazement, he accepts, and they sit
down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their stories, the
woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more
comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a
razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There,
in the cabinet, is a razor with a bone handle. Two shells, honed
to a hollow-ground edge, are fastened inside a swivel mechanism,
all on the handle's end.

"WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him, wearing nothing but vines
strategically positioned and smelling faintly of gardenias.

She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,
"we've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely.
I've been lonely. Isn't there something you really feel like
doing right now - something you've been longing for all these
months. You know...."

She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean...", he swallows

"I can check my e-mail from here?"