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Intelligent Jokes?

Markus Wennrich - Thu Mar 25 18:19:59 1999


3rd RUNNER-UP
Bio-Mechanics

Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure
on your eardrums.  This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they
then yawn to even it out.

2nd RUNNER-UP
Symbolic Logic

Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because
they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to
communicate technical ideas at a faster rate.

1st RUNNER-UP
Newtonian Mechanics

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.
Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when
the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of
tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

HONORABLE MENTION
Linguistics
The quantity of consonants in the English language is
constant.  If omitted in one place, they turn up in another.
When a Bostonian "pahks his cah," the lost R's migrate southwest,
causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells.


GRAND PRIZE WINNER
Perpetual Motion
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and
when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down.
It was proposed to strap giant slabs of hot buttered toast
to the back of a hundred tethered cats; the two opposing
forces will cause the cats to hover, spinning inches
above the ground.  Using the giant buttered toast/cat array,
a high-speed monorail could easily link
New York with Chicago.


-- 
nick@schoko.org                   http://www.schoko.org/~nick/

I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.


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