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Understanding Engineers

Markus Wennrich - Tue Mar 09 11:16:26 1999

Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walk along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up
on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes
and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a
wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the
other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Comprehending Engineers - Take Five
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

An Engineer and a Mathematician were sitting at opposite ends of a sofa,
sliding towards a girl in the middle.  Because they were both shy, they
were doing it stealthily - every minute they halved the distacnce between
themselves and the girl.

The mathematician said, "Oh no, I am never going to get there."  The
engineer: "...but I will be close enough for practical purposes."

nick@schoko.org                   http://www.schoko.org/~nick/

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