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You know you work in Corporate America if

Markus Wennrich - Thu Feb 18 13:26:35 1999


You know you work in Corporate America if: 

* You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different 
companies. 
* Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. 
* Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 
* The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note. 
* When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie. 
* You get really excited about a 2% pay raise. 
* You learn about your layoff on CNN. 
* Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. 
* Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job. 
* You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. 
* Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the 
Third World countries' annual budgets combined. 
* You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive. 
* It's dark when you drive to and from work. 
* Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else. 
* "Communication" is something your group is having problems with. 
* You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor. 
* Free food left over from meetings is your main staple. 
* Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home. 
* Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital. 
* Art involves a white board. 
* You're already late on the assignment you just got. 
* When 100% of your time means 20 hours. 
* You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, 
thanks!" 
* Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube. 
* Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your 
spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you." 
* Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get 
every January. 
* Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers". 
* Change is the norm. 
* Nepotism is encouraged. 
* The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are 
hanging in your cube.  
* You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting. 
* You read this entire list and understood it.  

------------------------------------------ 

"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then
suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun."
* Matt Groening, Life in Hell

-- 
nick@roses.de                   http://www.roses.de/~nick/

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