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Complete Idiots

Markus Wennrich - Fri Jan 29 15:30:59 1999

More Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots

1.  Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old
    man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two
    (counterfeit) $16 bills. 

2.  A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his
    49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him,
    while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's

3.  A company trying to continue its five-year perfect
    safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging
    the use of safety goggles on the job. According to
    Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory
    industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers
    suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening
    room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven
    stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while
    watching the film. 

4.  The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on
    nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating
    one within city limits. 

5.  A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in
    St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene,
    fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to
    complain of whiplash injuries and back pain. 

6.  Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13
    years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took
    the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it
    reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker
    confused the copier with the shredder. 

7.  A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a
    few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for
    robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to
    see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized
    his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse
    in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour. 

8.  Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
    suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
    connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.         
    The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
    police pressed the copy button each time they thought the
    suspect wasn't telling the truth.  Believing the "lie
    detector" was working, the suspect confessed. 

9.  When two service station attendants in Ionia,
    Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated
    robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still
    refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested. 

10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of
    walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph
    chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the
    vehicle to a stop.

nick@roses.de                   http://www.roses.de/~nick/

"If we don't get more power to the warp drive, we're all gonna have to
get out and push." Tom Paris (Parallax)