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Ruin sorbees

Hans Maurer - Fri Jan 15 13:26:04 1999


Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after
reading this. It was nominated best email of 1997. This is a telephonic
exchange between a hotelguest and room service at a hotel in Asia which was
recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye. Ruin sorbees. Morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??"

G:  "Uh, yes, I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G:  "What??"

RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?"

G:  "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please."

RS: "Ow July dee baychem - crease?"

G:  "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An San toes?"

G:  "What?"

RS: "San toes. July San toes?"

G:  "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G:  "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes'

RS: "Toes! Toes! Why jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G:  "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'. Fine.
Yes, ans
English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"

G:  "No, just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G:  "I mean butter - just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G:  "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

G:  "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy
singlish mopping we bother honey sigh and copy...rye??"

G:  "Whatever You say."

RS: "Tendjewberrymud."

G:  "You're welcome."

Hans Maurer                                                hans@red.roses.de

    "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and benchmarks."