aus Irland

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven 
days.  Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, 
"where were you?"   
God breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards  
through the clouds: "Look son, look what I'm after making."  
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" 
God replied, "It's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've 
named it earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. 
That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth: Beautiful mountains, 
lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coast line. These people here are 
going to be great crack and they're going to be found travelling the 
world. They'll be playwrights and poets and singers and songwriters. And 
I'm going to give them this black liquid which they're going to go mad on 
and for which people will come from the far corners of the earth to 
imbibe.  
Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration, but then seeming 
startled, he proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you 
said there was going to be a balance... "  
God replied wisely:"Wait until you see the fuckers I'm putting next door 
to them."  

            ****************************************

A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, 
everyone got extremely drunk and the bride's and groom's families have a 
storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking 
the living daylights out of each other.The Police get called in to break 
up the fight.  
The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The 
fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings calm with 
the use of his hammer, shouting "Silence in Court".The court room goes 
silent and Paddy(the best man) stands up and says"Judge.. I was the best 
man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened".  
The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his 
explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding 
that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride. The judge says"OK". 
"Well", said Paddy, "After I had finished the first dance, the music kept 
going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music 
kept going and I was dancing to the third song..when all of a sudden the 
Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an 
unmerciful kick right between her legs". Shocked, the Judge instantly 
responded,"God, that must have hurt!" "HURT!", Paddy replies "He broke 
three of my fingers!."  


-- 
nick@roses.de                   http://www.roses.de/~nick/

Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming.  - Kernigan