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Dilbert's Words Of WisdomMarkus Wennrich
- Thu Dec 03 13:58:17 1998
DILBERT'S WORDS OF WISDOM
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they
make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
by a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along
8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're
9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there
the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing
10. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception
11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
12. My Reality Check bounced.
13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape
14. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
15. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
16. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz, like, to them,
you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
17. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
18. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level
then beat you with experience.
Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug.