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some jokes

Markus Wennrich - Wed Nov 25 18:01:39 1998

Life In Hell A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he 
got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that 
said Socialist Hell.  
In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there 
was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the 
guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"  
"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the guard 
"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"
"The same exact thing," the guard answered.
"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"
"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!"  


A building contractor was being paid by the week for a job that
was likely to stretch over several months. He approached the
owner of the property and held up the check he'd been given.
"This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on," he said.
"I know," the owner said. "But last week I overpaid you two
hundred dollars, and you never complained."
The contractor said. "Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake.
But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your


The memo no one saw...
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Crime Lab 2A-3356N
Washington D.C.
RE: DNA Test Results for Clinton, William Jefferson.
Dear Judge Starr,
The test on the dress stain came back, but unfortunately the results
are inconclusive. Apparently, everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA.
Best Regards,
FBI Crime Lab

nick@roses.de                   http://www.roses.de/~nick/

Spock: Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Kirk: Or the one.