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Proof that the human race is doomed

Markus Wennrich - Thu Nov 12 11:33:14 1998

               Proof that the human race is doomed

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here
are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

* On a Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

* On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside.

* On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

* Some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

* On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating

* On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body

* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery

* On Nytol (a sleep aid):
Warning: may cause drowsiness

* On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only

* On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use

* On Sainsbury's Peanuts
Warning: contains nuts

* On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

* On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

nick@roses.de                   http://www.roses.de/~nick/

If you can't break a contract, bend it. (Ferengi ROA 5)