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Proof that the human race is doomedMarkus Wennrich
- Thu Nov 12 11:33:14 1998
Proof that the human race is doomed
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here
are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
* On a Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
* On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
* On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
* Some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
* On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating
* On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body
* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery
* On Nytol (a sleep aid):
Warning: may cause drowsiness
* On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children
* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only
* On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use
* On Sainsbury's Peanuts
Warning: contains nuts
* On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
* On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
If you can't break a contract, bend it. (Ferengi ROA 5)