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Fun: Internet Junkie

Markus Wennrich - Thu Sep 17 15:39:10 1998

You know you're an Internet Junkie when...
  
1.You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check 
your email on the way back to bed.

2.You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape 
Navigator 3.0 or higher."

3.You name your children Eudora, Yahoo, and Dotcom.

4.You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like 
you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

5.You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and 
your child in the overhead compartment.

6.You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just 
for the free Internet access.
7.You laugh at people with 28.8k modems.

8.You start using smileys in your snail mail. :)

9.Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours.You 
start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's 
access number. You try to hum to communicate with their 
modem... (If you actually connect that way, you need SERIOUS 
help!)

10.If you're broke and your modem burns out, and you go to the 
streets to sell your body to get a new one.

11.You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a 
word processor.com

12.You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading".

13.You start introducing yourself as "JohnSmith at Domain dot 
Com".

14.All of your friends have an @ in their names too.

15.Your cat has its own home page.

16.You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.

17.You check your mail. It says "no new messages". You check it 
again.

18.Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

19.You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, 
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to 
ask.

20.Your service provider calls YOU for tech support.

21.You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you 
landscape.

22.You tell the cab driver you live at 
"http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html";.

23.You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

24.After reading this, you immediately copy'n'paste it into an e-mail 
to all your friends.


-- 
nick@roses.de                   http://www.roses.de/~nick/

What's another word for thesaurus?


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