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Ten Reasons...

Hans Maurer - Thu Sep 03 20:51:34 1998

          Ten Reasons You Know It's Going To Be A Long Call

10. You ask for their name and phone number and all you get is silence.

9. You ask if they have a Pentium and they reply, " No its a Vivitron " You
rephrase the question, and they say, "Oh, I know, I have a 28.8...."

8. You ask if they have Windows 95 or Win 3.x, and they say, "Whatever came
with the computer.."

7. You tell them to open up the control panel and click on display, and they
say, "I only have six things and none of them say display." You ask what
they have in the control panel, to which they respond with, "I have some
squares and arrows and one with a little sun above the dial."

6. You ask them to click on the start button and go to programs to which you
hear, "Every time I do that my screen goes black." After the third time you
calmly say, "You are hitting your power button"

5. You start to do an ORR... and you keep getting error messages. They read

4. You ask them to restart the computer... they say, "I've never restarted
my computer before. I read in a magazine not to do that because it could
wipe out my hard drive." You gently reassure them that it'll be okay, then
you mute them and laugh hysterically.

3. You have a customer that states the faxworks won't fax out. You
uninstall, reinstall, upgrade, whack the modem and ports, put them back,
check settings in BIOS, change acceleration speed.. all this and then you
ask... where is the document located???? Word?? Excel??? Faxworks??? To your
dismay, they reply, "I slid the paper under my computer and it's still
there. It won't fax out."

2. You say your spiel and say... can I have your name please and you hear...
"Hi.. I am eight years old and my dad just bought me my very own computer.
My parents thought I needed more memory so can you help me install all 64
mg...and can you make my Epson scanner transfer scanned bitmaps onto my zip
drive. I have a resource conflict with my com port I, and my modem won't
connect me to the Internet video game line in under three seconds. Are you
ready to begin???"

1. "PRESS "C" TO CONTINUE...should I do that ???? Oops.. I pushed the "Q" TO
QUIT. Can we start over???" Then after the fourth time... you say, "Hold one
finger over the "C" key and DON'T TOUCH THE Q...."

                     We love our customers, don't we? :)