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What they say and what they mean

Hans Maurer - Thu Sep 03 20:51:20 1998

                      What they say and what they mean:

The support person's guide to understanding the user:
"I didn't do anything to it..."
A.K.A.   (I got an out of MEMORY error, so I cleaned up my hard drive a

"My modem was working yesterday..."
A.K.A.   (the one at the office worked, I've never actually tried to use
this one)

"My CD-ROM drive is C:, yes I'm sure"
A.K.A. (I've never done anything with my computer except listen to music)

"It crashed! Everything is black!"
A.K.A. (I'm at the DOS prompt)

"Yes, I emptied the trash can, but I've ALWAYS been able to get it back"
A.K.A. (I found my trash can today, and practiced moving my icons in and
out of it)

"I AM pushing the right mouse button"
A.K.A. (The other button is the wrong one)

"Yes, I'm sure it's plugged in!
A.K.A. (The power strip is plugged into itself)

"I DO have a modem"
A.K.A. (The salesman said this computer would even cook my breakfast. I
believed him)

"What do you mean it doesn't work in DOS?"
A.K.A. (I don't want it to work in DOS, I just want it to work in Works

"This IS an emergency"
A.K.A. (I'm addicted to the net, my friends are expecting me!)

"I've got this little problem"
A.K.A. (This is only the beginning of a list of problems I've been saving
up - but I want you to like me.)

"It just started doing this"
A.K.A. (I never tried it before this)

"My mouse won't move"
A.K.A. (The hourglass is still churning)

"I did do the START button"
A.K.A. (I pushed the Power button)

"My modem IS plugged in"
A.K.A. (Into the PHONE jack)

"I understand"
A.K.A. (I comprehended two words in the last 10 minutes) Those words are
usually "Ok now.."

"I can't find the Start button..."
A.K.A. (Can't you just fix it over the phone without my help??)