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Guter Schneider (fwd)Stephen Heilbronner
- Thu Aug 06 13:22:22 1998
SOME PERSPECTIVE ON US POLITICS...
Whitehouse press spokeswoman Joan Braithwaite has delivered the
following statement to media regarding accusation involving impropriety
between President Clinton and Miss Lewinsky:
The President absolutely did not engage in any sexual conduct with Miss
Lewinsky and will vigorously defend himself against such claims.
However the President would like to state that it is possible that a
perfectly innocent incident has been twisted by right wing Republicans
in order to undermine his administration.
Mr. Clinton has said that there was an occasion when it was necessary
for him to adjust his clothing he noticed with some embarrassment that
his fly was undone. The President said that he unfortunately had some
difficulty with his clothing as his zipper got stuck.
Because Mr. Clinton has slight arthritis in his hands he found he could
not get the zipper up. He therefore, for medical reasons, was forced to
enlist the assistance of one of his staffers, who was Miss Lewinsky. In
the course of assisting Mr. Clinton, Miss Lewinsky had to kneel in
front of him to facilitate the operation of the zipper.
For medical reasons Mr. Clinton has been advised to wear no
undergarments and it so happened, that in their anxiety to end the
embarrassment and rectify the fly problem, that Mr. Clinton's penis may
have fallen out of his trousers. As Miss Lewinsky was grappling with
his fly and felt sure that she nearly had it, and did not want Mr.
Clinton to be seen with his penis hanging out, she took the
presidential penis into her mouth so that it would not be visible
should anyone enter the room.
Mr. Clinton was unable to use his own hands for this purpose as he was
assisting Miss Lewinsky by holding her hair out of her face so she
could properly visualize his fly. It took some minutes for Miss
Lewinsky to fix Mr. Clinton's fly, and it was during this time that
another staff member entered the room and apparently completely
misconstrued the situation.
Mr. Clinton would like to reiterate that there was nothing unusual
about his working relationship with Miss Lewinsky. He did say however
that as he had trouble with his fly on a number of occasions,
necessitating Miss Lewinsky's repeated assistance, he was considering
changing his tailor.